Somewhere around the third week of August I promised to myself I’d work for one more week then take a break from all my projects of a couple of weeks minimum. I’m trying to juggle so many things I forgot to take a break. I forget the most important things.
So this week, the first in October, with all this bad weather I thought to myself, “dude, I need a break”. And it worked out perfectly because I received this great book in the mail and all I’ve been doing this week is spending my evenings after work writing and reading. I’m a slow reader but it’s perfect because I don’t want the book to end, it’s not only a biography, which is what I’m digging lately, but I’m loving the informal writing style and the fact that it deals with immigration, which I’ve been reading a lot more about again recently.
So I’ve spent every evening this week at home having some time off thinking about my next steps. I’ve got some photography tests I want to get done next week and I’m dreading it, but it’s got to be done before I can start the shooting; I want to do things properly.
What I really need is someone or something to remind me constantly of what I’m doing.
P.S: About the photos: I took yesterday’s photo at home a bunch of months ago, the piece on the left is a bottle thing my mum made when she was younger and used to work clay. She’s got this other incredible piece somewhere else and she doesn’t know I’ll be taking them with me someday. Today’s photo: To be completely honest I can’t remember where or when I took this. Must’ve been sometime at the end of last winter and I think I might know where I took it…
I’ve never had good balance and for years I pretty much was convinced the only thing I was really good at was watching television and eating. Now, years down the line I’ve realised I’m good at a few things: It started with languages and music, pretty much simultaneously, then I started taking photos a very short while after and some years down the line I started writing. It really wasn’t until very recently, say a month or so that I realised what I was good at was communicating. I’m a communicator. And for the first time in twenty four years I realised that I was good for something; storytelling and communicating with words and images. And from there on things have been making some sense.
With everything you learn there’s a point in time where things click; or at least that’s how it happened with me. I first realised this when I was learning to play guitar, for the first, I don’t know, year or more (maybe?) it was all pretty much about guess work and trying to learn as much as possible in as little time as possible; I was hungry. But then one day many years ago it all clicked, it was like “oh yeah, so this is this and this is this” and things started to make sense. For the first time in ages I knew something was going right. With languages it was pretty much the same: You learn a lot of grammar (that in my case didn’t really stick) and for me it was a lot like using a sieve with something like sand with pebbles. So you sieve it all out and in the end you’re left with the stones, the useful stuff.
So you pretty much get the idea, it’s been the same with everything I do. But now, this past month or so I’ve been on a second ‘click’. After quite some time where I felt I was a bit stuck musically, in playing instruments, now things are starting to make sense a little more. And whereas I thought “yeah that’s cool, I finished my degree in Italian and Spanish and that’s that” now I’ve realised something really weird (and I don’t want to sound pretentious or anything) but in the same way that we, Gibraltarians, always find the easy way out in choosing words and use the language that comes first, I’ve realised that some times the Italian word comes through first. And I couldn’t be happier, it’s like little pockets of knowledge I never knew existed anymore. All that Italian trash TV really worked out!
With photography things are a little different. Things clicked a long time ago, in the learning stages, but maybe because I’m still developing every day it’s going to be a while until that second click. I’m torn between Henri, Brassaï and Vivian’s street photography and all the colourful still life on my Instagram feed.
But the latest thing is writing. I’ve been writing on here for about two years or more I think and although I don’t have much time to write on here any more I’ve been writing over at YGTV for like three weeks now and although it’s pretty much the same as writing on here the fact that I have a bigger audience is making me feel like my writing is maturing, it’s clicking.
And now I’ve got all these things going and I keep hearing people say nice things about what I get up to during my spare time and I’m loving it and I’m eternally grateful. But at least for a couple more weeks I’ll still be like the cats in those slow motion videos where they’re turning to find their feet.
I might have become a lot of things, but I’ve never been a good juggler and it’s going to be a while until I can keep all my blogs in the air.
It’s been a busy few weeks. I’m trying to take up projects for the winter because I’ll be finishing work at half three every day now and the evenings are long. And like always I’m already feeling like I’m taking up too much, although I’m sure I’ll make it. But I also can’t stop buying books which means I have to choose between staying in and reading and working on projects. But I’ll work it out, no doubt.
Before the end of the week I’d like to start my new photo project (with an assistant!) and I’ve got a new article coming out tomorrow on the YGTV website aaaaand People People’s back. We’re finishing off out first batch of interviews and starting on the final three tomorrow. I’m excited to take photos and especially because at the same time I’ll be testing this old camera.
Oh and check out these seascapes! I’m pretty happy with them.
It’s always the same story, I’ve got too much on my plate and the summer is making me take more down time than I should. I’ve got work to do, a lot of things to read and I want to arrange places to go to to shoot.
So to take some things off my list I’m gonna be finishing off my second photo zine. I made one a few months ago that sold really well and if this second one sells just as well or even half as well I’ll be really happy. Deal is: £5, like the other one (£8 if you buy a copy of each, BARGAIN!), 16 black and white photos taken all over the place, mostly in Gibraltar. And for this one all photos will be film.
But first let me admire the dreamy orange/yellow light in these photos from last winter. I am so excited for my favourite season.